Ashima is no more.....

got to know about her death from a common friend one year after she was gone.......it shud have felt shocking to me for sure as we studied for three years together...took exams in the same hall....enjoyed at farewell parties of our seniors in our department.....did mass bunks innumerable times......but despite so much of 'sharings', i just cudnt react the way i wanted to when i got to know about her demise....may be somewhere i just cudnt believe that she didnt exist anymore.....i came back home....kept thinking about it nd then suddenly burst into tears......dunno why i did so as she wasnt one of my closest friemds or something but just was a nice personality to be around with....i must say she was beautiful.....and was most of the times 'balanced'....in the sense that she hardly over- reacted....had the power of taking everything smoothly....but the first time i noticed her betting 'really happy' was when there were heavy rains....we were in the college at that time..all happy but the day- scholars who lived far from the college more worried about how to reach home.....and the next thing we see is Ashima, all drenched and dancing on the terrace.....

that sent everybody to grab their share of hopping and enjoying the monsoon rains to the fulllest..........

post the completion of graduation, people went for their master degrees...in different fields...she chose to remain in the science stream and decided to move to hyderabad for further studies.....but met with an accident there and was finished.....

often i thot of going to her place and paying my condolences but just cudnt gather the courage to do so......

hi....

i have been very much into understanding my own and others' behavior......at times i fail to understand why did i behave in a certain way as i regret reacting in that way sometime later....however, i used to think that i should not be yhinking too much about these things as it diverted my attention and prevented me from being focussed....probably i have wasted a lot of time in such almost 'useless' thinking process.....but my greatest regret is that i havent still been able to find a solution for this thing. when i read your article in TOI today, i thought of sending you a message in the hope that we can talk further to help me resolve such dilemmas of life.....i am 25....so perhaps i shudnt be getting too philosophical about life at this stage but believe me despite trying tremendously to control my thought process i havent been able to accomplish much in the direction i wanted to......if you wish to help me out, please do so as your article indicated that there must be a scientific reason for such thought process of mine......also, i wud like to tell you that of late i have started remaining silent too much.....whether it is the lack of matter to share wid people or is it the fear that if i say something that the other person doesnt much agree to will affect my 'reputation', i am not clear but i surely wanna get rid of this self doubt situation and be free of these 'pins' that keep pricking my mind every now and then......in the end i wud request you to please respond, even if theres a straight 'NO' from your side......

hello everybody

i just wanted to try out something new n caught up with this idea of creating a blog. let us c how it goes.